Stardust - guest review by chris and dan

We didnt care for this film, the special effects looked like 2003 Doctor Who and the locations and everything was too fake except for the people, who were a handsomely assembled cast. This was the film's only strength. Deniro pulled through by acting gay and funny. It was like walking in on your dad snogging the mirror and murmuring the name of his closest colleague, funny but uncomfortable. Adam Buxton looked funny with long hair and a wispy beard though, we like him.

If the De Niro bits were compiled together into a short film it would be a lot better than this film. "Have you ever tried to get blood stains out of a silk shirt? HELLOOOO?" This was a good.

Thanks.

Raging Bull

This film was okay, I was expecting better. Maybe it was because Jake LaMotta seemed to have no redeeming qualities about him, but I guess that was the point. De Niro's performance of a paranoid wife beating cheat was top notch.

This movie shows the first pairing of De Niro with Joe Pesci, which is always great to watch. Pesci is pretty underrated if you ask me. When you start typing "Joe Pes" into your google search bar, the first name that shows up on auto-fill is someone called "Joe Pass." He is one of the few actors with the ability to be funny and absolutely terrifying. I know I wouldn't want to give him a baseball bat.

The part of the movie that made you want to punch LaMotta in the face the most was when he accused Vicki of cheating on him with his brother. He basically punches her into unconsciousness.

Cathy Moriarty was beautiful in this, but Vicki was supposed to be 14 when she met LaMotta, and I don't know many 14-year-olds that look like that.

Analyze This

Good Morning America says that "Analyze That is even funnier than Analyze This." I sure hope so, because this really wasn't funny.

De Niro has this strange crying scene where you can't really tell if he's actually crying or if it's supposed be a joke.

Check out the ludicrously placed Lisa Kudrow credit. It's even worse for Analyze That.

Sleepers

This movie made me want to punch Kevin Bacon in the face. It wasn't actually very good, and I don't really know any priests like Father Bobby either. I do know one that doesn't mind a drink or two at family parties, and is known to sing songs to my embarrassed younger cousin going for second rounds at the buffet table. I also drew a portrait of a priest once - he seemed friendly enough - but he was no Father Bobby.

I think you must be pretty unlucky to kill someone with a hot dog cart. It's probably worse luck for the person who actually dies by being crushed by one. For me, the best part was when Father Bobby had to testify for the men that killed pedophile rapist, Kevin Bacon.

It was also pretty satisfying to see Kevin Bacon die in the restaurant, but then we find out Tommy and John return to their lives of murderous crime, so it's not clean-cut sweet justified revenge, as I like it served.

Also, why is Minnie Driver's character in love with everyone?

Taxi Driver

I'll start with everybody's favourite, Taxi Driver, because so far, it's my favourite too. You may think I like it because I secretly share Travis' extreme morals of twisted justice and you may be right.

But only half right. While some people believe the ending didn't really happen, that it's just a fantasy of what was in Travis' head - I like to believe they are completely wrong. Killing pimps and saving a child prostitutes: a hero in my eyes.

De Niro's performance is spot on. Is he crazy? A murderer? Or just a lonely guy looking for human connection? I think he successfully portrays all of the above, depending on who you ask.

Me? I would probably date Travis Bickle, I mean, he's a pretty stand up guy apart from the trying to kill Senator Palantine thing, and possibly the taking Betsy to the porno theatre thing. But this is coming from the girl who plans to watch every single De Niro film ever made - not exactly the most unbiased opinion out there.

But don't worry, this isn't some sort of hero worship blog. Some of his movies were pretty crap (Yes you, Righteous Kill, the biggest letdown of all time) and I am prepared to give you my two cents - however nonsensical it may be.