Bang the Drum Slowly

In the book, "Al Pacino: In Conversation with Lawrence Grobel," it says that "Bang the Drum Slowly" is Pacino's favourite movie. I am sure he was joking because this couldn't be anyone's favourite movie.

De Niro plays a terminally ill baseball player, who tries to conceal his illness from his team through elaborate lying - aided by his best friend and team mate, Moriarty.

First, the whole baseball team is really mean to De Niro. Two guys ask De Niro for his height and when he responds, they tell him that they didn't know piles of shit were made that high.

There's a part where De Niro is reading some sort of book and Moriarty says, "What are you reading?" Then De Niro says, "You wouldn't believe it, but about a woman falling in love with Dracula."

The way I'm suddenly changing topics is as abrupt as that scene was cut. Also, I'm not sure if I really cared that De Niro was dying. At worst, he was a man with overactive sweat glands and a slight limp.

Everybody's Fine

"Everybody's Dead" should be the title of this film because this is the most depressing movie in the world. Why the poster looks like it is the feel-good Christmas movie of the year, I do not know.

There is a part where a drug addict steals tries to steal all of De Niro's money and then crushes his medication, and De Niro has to salvage and take the crushed pills off the floor because he's miles from home. De Niro wants to see all his children, but no one wants to see him even though their mom is dead.

Drew Barrymore has a secret hidden baby and and Kate Beckinsale is having an affair with her co-worker. None of them want to tell De Niro that his son/their brother died from a drug overdose in Mexico - not even Sam Rockwell, who plays a failed orchestra conductor.